Sole Power

June 25, 2009

footpain 

Uh huh. This my shit. All the girls, stomp your feet like this.

That? Undoubtedly corny.

This? Godsend. Thus, making my outburst completely called for because, not that I’ve ever wanted to stomp my feet after a long night of two-stepping and stanky-legging, but the fact that I now have the option to do so is making me consider extending all my nights-out into more unreasonable hours – the right way, of course: think more “after-party,” and less regretful street-meat stop (don’t front on the deep-fried deliciousness).

Anywho, Rollasole (genius at work) has heard the cries (and that’s literal) of all the downtrodden damsels in distress (and that’s literal, too). The ones who don’t necessarily plan ahead during the pre-game. The ones who bank on the “You look good, girl!” exclamations made by friends (but really devils-in-disguise) who swear the 4+-inch heels you’re rocking are a perfect choice of footwear for the next several hours. Everyone forgets that feet are capable of feeling; no one comes prepared with extra padding. You only curse the brains behind the beauty of, in my case, a Target-bought Mossimo, and in a famous person’s case, a Louboutin, in the middle of the night when you begin to catch yourself trying to shift your body weight off the balls of your feet and on to whatever’s yet to be pulsating in pain. Or at the end of the night when you begin to attempt to take muuuuch smaller steps in hopes that the toe torture will come in muuuuch smaller increments. It doesn’t work. You want to cry. You want to walk barefoot down a piss-and-puke-laden sidewalk. You want to go back in time to the moment you made the oddest choice not to pack those flats just because they didn’t match. You want a vending machine full of soft slippers to descend from the sky.

Prayers been answered.

Rollasole is doing just that, making waves in nightclubs as the emergency-flat-shoe vending machine. Shimmery ballet flats are dispensed in a cute mini-tote and are priced at about $8 – that’s way less than the cocktail you just bought and way more worth the money. Problem is that Rollasole is only available in the UK. Somebody start a stateside petition.

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