I’m such a sap.


Some people really know how to ruin a good time. Like Andre Dimino.

Who?, you ask.

He’s the guy trying to ruin my Thursday nights.

As the President of UNICO, the national Italian-American service organization, he’s asked MTV to pull their new show “Jersey Shore” off the air because it’s offensive and contributes to stereotypes and [add more bad things here]. But, per the press materials, all the network is really trying to do is lift the veil off “one of the Tri-state area’s most misunderstood species … the guido.” And I think that’s necessary. And not at all out of the ordinary. I mean, if “True Life: ‘I’m A Girlfriend'” (no, really) can get past execs and onto our tv screens, then, damnit, so can this. I mean, there are sooo many stigmas of being a girlfriend, it was only fair that the young ladies, so complex, so silenced, so misunderstood, got the opportunity to tell their story and debunk the myths! And so the guidos (and guidettes?) deserve a fair chance to speak their minds, as well. Because when I hear that term, that godawful term, I think of Oompa-Loompa tans, blow-outs, rave parties, sunglasses while indoors, french manicures, fist-pumping, and well, these gems. And I’m ready to be proven wrong.

(Couldn’t upload the episode because MTV runs shit and there are copyright laws, so watch it here.)

And, LOL @ Dereon being the “hottest” heel (:28). Who knew? Seeeee, learning things already.

Hm…file this nugget under the (super loosely-based) term “creative.”

I never cut school for a really good reason. If it was to see a movie, I’m sure I could’ve waited until the more proper time of 8:00pm. If it was to go to a friends house, all I remember doing is talking at a kitchen table, in the same way that could’ve been done at, say, a table in the cafeteria. (I do recall us signing onto AOL a lot, but it was new! We could’ve had mail!) And if it was to go to the mall, I know I never had enough money to buy anything remotely memorable. I did steal from Claires often but, again, useless pastime.

When I did stay home (for no other reason than to be bored and wish I was with my friends), I watched a lot of talkshows – never a soap opera cuz I’m not that type of girl (whatever that means) – namely though, The Maury Povich Show. The Anti-Springer, if you will. Or so it seemed at the time. All trickery, I’ve learned!

Please, someone, correct the 13-year-old me if I’m wrong, but was the show always about 400-lb toddlers, animal tricks, and baby daddy’s? Or has it progressed, I mean digressed, into this?

Anyway, Detroit’s own Judge Wade McCree (above) thinks Maury is the perfect candidate for some Scared Straight-type shit. He’s begun sentencing fathers charged with failing to pay child support to the viewing of one Maury show a month. Like a dose of medicine for deadbeats. The men then have to report back to their probation officers with a summary. Like what children do with teachers. It’s all very convoluted and forensic and you have to have a degree to understand why measures like this ever need to be taken. Hurts my head just thinking about it, but damnit, I’m gonna watch episode after episode until I understand this method and am near fit to be a judge myself.